PLUS: 4 Fixes to Get You on Your Way to the Reality You Want
If you’re reading this article, it’s likely you’ve read The Secret or are at least familiar with the Law of Attraction. All of us seeking to improve our lives in some way have come across these reality creation techniques. And those of us open to metaphysical concepts have been even more inclined to delve into these elusive attraction principles.
As you attempted to harness the power of the Law of Attraction, you may have gone so far as to write down what you wanted to manifest. You might have followed all the directions you could get your hands on. You’ve faithfully meditated and visualized your desires. In short, you did everything you were supposed to do to ensure that your reality would shift.
You might be like many of us and have to admit that nothing happened as a result of all your hard work. No reality shift. No big changes, not even a subtle one. Nothing. Just flat out disappointment.
If you’re like me, this “failure” has happened to you, and you’ve seen it happen to others. It’s a terrible let down. After all, you eagerly anticipated bringing something better into your life — maybe abundance, a loving partner, improved health, or a stable job. You wanted to change your reality. You gave it your best shot. And nothing materialized. So, what went wrong?
Too many people have experienced this discouragement. You’re not alone. In the following sections, I’ll lay out some of the main principles of the Law of Attraction, then we’ll see why it might not be working for you. I’ll offer some suggestions on how to address the most common problems and how to avoid the usual pitfalls so that you can create the reality that’s right for you.
The Law of Attraction: What is it?
The Law of Attraction is a conceptual program comprised of thoughts and actions that allows us to create the reality we want. It promises to give us control over our own lives so that we can create the life we wish we had, and who doesn’t like that? Rather than staying in a situation or reality that has been forced upon us, or accepting one that we think is unchangeable, the Law of Attraction tells us that we can change our reality. How? Through the power of our own thoughts, focused intentions, and through a series of actions meant to draw the correct energies to ourselves.
The Law of Attraction: The Basics
1. “What you think about, you bring about.” So, think about what you want to happen, not your fears, worries or insecurities.
2. Visualize! Imagine, picture, draw, and daydream about yourself in the reality that you’d like to achieve. Visualize how you will achieve it and what it feels like once you do. Imagine all the ways your life will change once you achieve your goals.
3. Affirm your desires. Talk and think about the things that you’re going to change positively, and speak as if you’ve already achieved these changes. Live as though the achievement of these things is inevitable. This positivity will draw the things that you want into your life.
4. Expect good things rather than bad. Expect a better reality will come into existence for you. This way, you open the door to that reality, and these expectations will also lead you away from the doom of “victim mentality.”
5. Have an “attitude of gratitude” so that the universe can give you more of whatever it is that you’re already grateful for. This gratitude also makes you more observant of the good things in your life, ensuring that you aren’t missing what the universe puts in front of you. It helps you focus on the positive things.
6. Take actions that will help lead to the reality you want to create.
Why the Law of Attraction Might Not Be Working for You
There are many excellent authors who write about the Law of Attraction extensively. They’re committed to sharing their knowledge and have worked hard to ensure that people will be able to grasp the true power of the principle. I don’t claim to be on the same playing field as many of these experts. However, I’ve been very observant of the emphasis on reality creation ever since the concept hit the mainstream audience several years ago.
I’ve read and dutifully studied most of the available materials, spent many hours with my own trials and errors, and talked to countless people about their experiences. I’ve managed to come up with some observations about the way the “law” actually works, and I’ve also isolated some “errors” in the way it’s generally presented to the public, over-simplification being the main culprit. The issues listed below deal with a few of the weaknesses I’ve explored.
Before diving into the list, I should start by saying that the level of commitment required to change one’s reality is rarely addressed in most of the books and movies dedicated to the subject. Deep energy shifts are critical if we truly want to change our reality and bring lasting effects into our lives. This dramatic shift demands some spiritual heavy lifting. Without the commitment to do this heavy lifting, the promised rewards are very hard to achieve and maintain.
Problem 1—Unfocused and/or Generalized Desire
This is by far the most common problem that I’ve seen. For example, if a person believes that he or she has a desire for a certain thing, but at the root of that desire is a deeper and more important need, the surface level desire may go unfulfilled. Without first uncovering the “roots” of the desire, the wished-for goal can be difficult to achieve. Why? Because you’re not focusing on what you truly want. Instead, you’re attempting to draw something into your life that you think you want.
Let’s say that I believe the lack of money is my most pressing issue, and so, I decide to focus my attraction practices on bringing in more money simply for the sake of having more money. I might start to wonder what I’m doing wrong when “more money” doesn’t just magically appear.
Instead of assuming my desires are directly linked to attracting wealth, I need to ask myself a few questions first. I need to determine how my desire for money factors into my life. Do I want money to feel more secure, or do I want money to have more freedom? Do I want money because I want power, or because I like to be comfortable? These are each very different motivating factors, and they emanate from and produce very different emotions.
These underlying cravings, these emotionally charged “root” desires are much more powerful focal centers than generic, superficial sentiments. By working with these fundamental needs, rather than spending time on generalities like “I want more money,” it’s possible to get much closer to the reality you’re aiming for.
The Fix: Identify Blocks, Clarify Your True Desire, and Be Concrete!
As you begin your path to creating your reality, you’ll need to spend some time in deep introspection. Ask yourself why you want the things that you want. Try to hone in on the deepest and most consistent desires you have. And find out if you’re truly comfortable requesting that your wishes be granted.
You may end up examining old programming like, “I don’t deserve this,” “Other people have these things, but I never will,” “Our family is poor, and it will never change.” You might uncover feelings of guilt, anger, frustration, and other negative feelings and beliefs. It’s very important to uncover these deep-seated feelings before moving on.
In the beginning, you’ll need to adjust your wish list to something you can believe in and accept for yourself, even if those ideas seem small in comparison with your overall dreams. With practice, you’ll be able to heal your old wounds and start believing that a better life is available to anyone who’s willing to ask and receive.
Once you sense you’ve reached a true starting place, be very clear and specific about your desire. If you want more money to buy a new couch because you love beauty and comfort and your lumpy old sofa is falling apart, then focus on the new couch you want—not on the money you need to buy it.
The invisible, creative source field responds to concrete imagery and specific receptacles for abundance. It also responds to emotion and sensation. Take a few minutes every day to picture yourself sitting on that new couch you want so much. Try to feel the soft cushions, imagine watching your favorite shows cuddled up on your new sofa. Whatever imagery applies to your situation, visualize yourself in those detailed settings.
Don’t dwell on these brief fantasies. Don’t stretch the visualizations into lengthy, complex affairs. A few seconds in focused thought is all you need to achieve. Then go on your way, and do the things you would normally do. Carry the thought with you that your new couch is on its way, and let it go at that.
With this true, specific desire uppermost in your mind, and with a concrete thought form in place to help you visualize your desire, it won’t take long for solutions to start appearing. At first, the “answers” might not even seem to be directly linked to your work.
You might get an unexpected birthday gift, a small raise, a side-job, or find an ad for special financing on a beautiful new couch. Rest assured that the universal forces you’ve called upon by sending out such detailed intentions will respond. And those elusive powers have a multitude of ways to bring your desire into your life. The next step will be to recognize how the universe is attempting to answer your call. Don’t miss the signs! Go get that new couch!
Problem 2—An Attitude of Gratitude? You’ve Got to be Joking!
Throughout all the Law of Attraction literature, we’re instructed to have an “Attitude of Gratitude.” But sometimes, this just isn’t doable. It can be nearly impossible to feel grateful for a life that seems to be racing downhill at breakneck speed. Most of us forget to be thankful for our blessings on a good day, so imagine how hard gratitude is to come by in an abusive or devastating situation. It’s unrealistic to expect to feel positive about life in general when negative situations prevail. So why is this such an important step if it seems impossible? And how can we incorporate it into our practice when times are bad?
The Fix: Small Steps Lead to a Spectacular Destination!
Instead of trying to feel grateful for a dire situation, use a simpler and more gradual approach. First, forget the word “grateful.” For the time being, substitute “grateful” for the word “enjoy.” Once again, think small and specific.
Take a moment to genuinely enjoy something. It can be absolutely anything: a drink, a sunset, a song, a book, a conversation. Simply take a few seconds to realize that you’re enjoying something. See if you can figure out why you enjoy this thing and how enjoying it makes you feel. Do you feel elated, happy, energized, free? Don’t try to enjoy everything or make yourself be grateful in general. All too often, that isn’t realistic. Just allow yourself to enjoy one small thing at a time.
Gradually, take time to notice a few more things you enjoy. Begin to discern the similarities. Feel the character and texture of the emotion of enjoyment. Does a moment of enjoyment lead to calmer feelings? Does enjoyment lead to confidence or courage?
When you’re ready, stretch these favorable circumstances a little. Spend more time thinking about the things you enjoy. Think about what that enjoyment brings into your life. This thoughtful process will lead you to discover the more lasting feelings of gratitude. Eventually, you’ll recognize the effects of gratitude, just as you’ve become able to see the effects of enjoyment.
With each small step, you’ll be getting closer to creating the life you want. As you focus on enjoyment, you’ll begin to attract more pleasures into your life. It will surprise you how fast a bad situation can turn around by taking the first steps towards a different kind of reality. New ideas will come to you. New opportunities will appear out of the blue. Take small steps for now, and an epic journey will begin to unfold. Face the right direction, and a spectacular destination will soon be in sight. After all, you won’t get to Hawaii very fast by heading off to Kansas.
Problem 3—Overriding Affirmations and Good Intentions
We’ve all been on the lookout for that perfect affirmation, that all-encompassing statement that will change our life if we can just repeat it and write it down enough times. But formally affirming our desires is only a small part of the process compared to how we spend the rest of our time—the hours when we’re not focused on specific affirmations.
Start by observing the way you talk to yourself or talk to others throughout the day. If you spend 10 minutes three-times-a-day repeating positive affirmations but spend 12 hours-a-day repeating adverse thoughts and expressing negative emotions, those little periods of positivity don’t have much of a chance. The good affirmative work you’ve done can’t hold up against day after day of negative, self-conscious, or fearful reactions.
Over time, I’ve come to ignore the instruction to start with affirmations. I’ve never seen them work before a more solid type of foundation is built. Before you can expect your brain to accept and replicate big, positive statements, you’ve got to make sure your inner structure can support those beliefs. Otherwise, you’re just wasting time and energy. You need to make a much more difficult commitment. You’ve got to be willing to shed some old skin and accept some real change.
The fix: A True Mentality Shift—Forget Affirmations! Use Deflectors Instead!
If you’re trying to figure out why good things aren’t happening fast enough, chances are that a sticky mess is taking center stage. So, rather than trying to add a bunch of superficial good stuff before you’re ready, you need to add a powerful weapon to your emotional arsenal.
You need something that will help get the weeds of negativity under control so you can focus on planting new seeds. It’s easier and more effective to slam away at ugly enemies blocking your way than it is to imagine all the invisible good things hiding behind some insurmountable fortress wall.
To make things like affirmations work, you’ve got to clear away the sabotages already in place. You can’t go charging directly across a battlefield crying victory if it’s cluttered with land-mines. You need a way to locate and disarm those bombs before you can expect to safely reach the other side.
I’m afraid it’s true for most of us that we have a lot more negative habits to break than we have positive aspects ready to add to this picture. Most of us are overcoming hardships in one form or another. We have years of self-doubt and negativity weighing us down. Our foundations are all too often built upon guilt, fear, anger, victimization, or disbelief. History, burdens, and baggage—Yuck!
When we decide it’s time for a change, we come into battle with false bravado. We watch our beleaguered past bravely try to face an unknown future made up of our revitalized goals and newly gained positive intentions. We all need a secret weapon to pull out in such a battle. I call that miraculous and unassuming little weapon a “deflector.”
Whenever I catch myself moving into a fear mode or any other negative thought pattern, I immediately stop and say to myself, “Nope, not in this reality. That’s not going to happen here. Not this time!”
Being ready with an easily remembered phrase interrupts the usual path of a downward spiral and gives us a chance to force our thoughts in another direction. Sometimes, when I can’t get out of a particularly nasty chain reaction, I resort to drastic measures, like turning on the TV or doing some physical activity. The important thing is to change course. Move your mind away from a negative pattern as soon as possible and by any means necessary.
As you do this, you’ll begin to gain on several fronts. First, you’ll see how often these kinds of thoughts are occurring. The truth will make itself known and call you to attention. Second, you’ll give yourself the chance to change directions. Every time you take control, you’ll advance on your goals and gain confidence. And third, over time, you’ll establish new patterns of thinking and speaking. Your focus will gradually change. And in the end, you’ll be able to cross that battlefield in one piece.
Once your everyday thinking is more in line with your overall desires, you’ll be ready to incorporate the power of positive affirmations. Once the deflectors are working for you, and you can sense the change in your overall thought patterns, add a simple affirmation into the mix. Now that some of the mud is cleared away, a positive interjection will have a chance to sprout. Using simple deflectors will reshape your thinking and processing patterns. With a stable and steady foundation in place, you’ll be able to support your dreams.
Problem 4—Out of Alignment
If you’ve followed all the steps, had a positive outlook most of the time, didn’t give up, and continued to follow up with appropriate actions, it can certainly feel strange and disappointing if you don’t see any improvements happening. Unfortunately, this disheartening state-of-affairs isn’t uncommon. We can do everything “right,” stay upbeat, expect to reach our goal and still be finished off by insurmountable blocks and the anguish of defeat. In bewilderment, we bemoan our fates—I just don’t get it, what went wrong?
This next point is one I’ve observed, and it goes against the claims of many authors who write about the Law of Attraction. Most books, movies, and articles would have you believe that you can achieve anything. The sky’s the limit! I hate to burst that balloon, but I’ve found a different sort of a promise holds true. My promise to you would be this:
You can accomplish most things if those things truly resonate to your body, mind, and spirit. If your desires will lead you to fulfilling your destiny, you can make them happen!
I hope this doesn’t sound like a wimpy and watered-down promise compared to the awe-inspiring assertion that you can have or do anything you desire. I’ve found that too many of my friends and associates became so excited about manifestation techniques that they went to work on achieving things completely out of character and extremely unlikely, even in the best of cases. In addition, they paid no attention to timing or preparation as they launched out to create their new realities.
In one case, a friend who had never earned any significant amount of money decided that only a million dollars would suffice. Another friend who had no experience with real estate declared he would make his fortune buying and selling houses. Nothing is wrong with either one of these goals. But the expectation that they should be the first thing to work on proved too much to handle. After deal after deal fell apart, both people stumbled off depressed and lambasted themselves for believing that miracles could come true in the first place.
Not only did their dreams fail to materialize, but they ended up worse than when they began their experimentation with the Law of Attraction. In each case, they expected too much too soon. They didn’t allow themselves any reasonable time frames to prepare for their dreams to manifest. They didn’t focus on the actions that come with success. And despite claiming to do the affirmations, visualization work, and positive thinking, they carried on with their negative thinking patterns most of the time. They simply didn’t allow enough time for the deep inner changes to occur that precede external manifestations.
The odds were stacked against them under these circumstances. But there’s one more critical piece of the puzzle they missed as well, and it’s a bit more esoteric in nature. To ensure success, we must allow for the factor of alignment.
This might sound like yet another brake coming down on something that’s supposed to feel exhilarating and free of restraint. It’s exciting to learn that you can pull a wish out of a hat and shoot for the moon. Who wants to fool around with self-examination, meditation, and patience when we’re told we can make anything happen by simply tossing our intentions out into the ever-giving ethers of the universal source field?
Well, it’s up to you, of course, but I’ve tried it both ways, and there’s just no comparison. When I took the time to truthfully consider where my wish would lead, if it was something I could honestly manage, and if it would fit into my overall destiny, I was blessed with miracle after miracle. I found myself in a flow of ease and synchronicity. And the outcome of my focus was maintained and substantial, if not grandiose.
On the other hand, when I aimed for things not aligned with my purpose, focused on desires too far out of reach at the time, or tried to get something I didn’t truly believe I could achieve, I ended up wasting my time and energy. And I had to spend precious time rebuilding my faith in the principles that do work.
Each of us will feel our way through this life-long process. We’ll each discover techniques that work best in our unique circumstances. In my personal experience, when I work with the principle of alignment instead of against it, I can accomplish my goals and bring my dreams to life.
The Fix: Get Aligned! “Know Thyself!”
If a new reality isn’t in your best interest, or if the things you desire won’t serve you well, then the forces that watch over your soul’s evolution might keep you from drawing those things into your life. This frustrating block can seem like a punishment at the time. However, we’ve all heard the saying, “Be careful what you wish for.” This spiritual stop-measure helps guard against self-inflicted tragedy.
There are mighty and sentient powers at work, including your own higher self. These powers know whether something is going to make you miserable in the long run. Sometimes, we need to surrender to the fact that we need to examine ourselves more thoroughly before insisting that the universe respond to our demands.
While all people deserve to live a life free of abuse, and while we’re all entitled to claim success and happiness, the things that go beyond these basic rights vary a great deal. Some of us are here to write inspiring books, others are here to create magnificent art. Some to win battles, and some to change the course of history. Whatever your purpose is, it’s a big advantage to get a glimpse of what your destiny might entail.
Armed with that knowledge, you can start making plans towards achieving that destiny. If you begin to walk the path you were meant to walk, other pieces will fall into place. All Laws of Creation will come under your command. You won’t feel like you’re swimming upstream all the time, and the principles of manifestation will be on your side.
Knowing how important reality creation principles are, like those covered in the Law of Attraction, Modern Masters wants to make sure we provide ongoing information about the best techniques and practices available. We’re launching an exceptional framework so that our Members will achieve success in their endeavors.
In closing, I’ll discuss some of the ways Modern Masters will assist you as you set out to make your dreams come true.